


Pretty Soldier Sailor Sarah

by puff22_2001



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Character Death, Comedy, Gen, Original Character(s), Parody, Satire, Stalking, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23036080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puff22_2001/pseuds/puff22_2001
Summary: They know. They see her. And they'll make sure this time.
Relationships: Tsukino Usagi & Inner Senshi, Tsukino Usagi & Original Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	Pretty Soldier Sailor Sarah

**Author's Note:**

> This story is over fifteen years old. I edited out the most egregious problems (such as the gratuitous Japanese), and I found that I honestly don't mind this one as much as I expected. I find this story a decent send-up of some of the more ubiquitous tropes in the SailorMoon fandom--and I still think it's just funny.

The young girl walked quietly from the shadows. She swished her shoulder-length brunette hair away from her matching brown eyes with an indifferent flick of her hand. She viewed her surroundings with slight misgivings, but took no notice of the stares. She soon came to a bench in the school courtyard and sat down to eat her lunch. Unbeknownst to her, she was being watched by more than inquisitive students.

“Is she one?”

“I don't know. She doesn't look like a sailor soldier.”

“Why else would she be here?”

“I guess we'll have to wait and see.”

\----

“Hi!” A voice near the girl's head startled her from her lunch and she turned in tidy politeness.

“Hello.” Standing next to her was another girl, about her age with yellow hair done up in pigtails. The blonde was hungrily eying the pasta salad set on the bench. The girl shrugged and handed it to the blonde without question.

“Oh, thank you! I've had so little and I just HAD to eat something! By the way, my name is Tsukino Usagi.”

“My name is Sarah Jones. I'm the new exchange student.” Usagi, who had been munching happily along, nearly choked with the force or her gasp. Sarah pounded her unceremoniously on the back with just a hint of concern.

“You . . . you're the exchange student?”

“Yeah. I'm from Lawrence, Kansas, in the middle of the USA. I'm only here for a year.” Usagi looked absolutely horrified. She pulled Sarah close without so much as a how-do-you-do (so much for that famous Japanese aloofness), and whispered in panic.

“You have to get out of here! They might have already got wind of you! Please, if you value your life, you'll run!” With that cryptic warning, Usagi bolted from the bench, sending her forgotten salad flying. She looked all around her with a glazed, terrified stare, then ran out of sight around the school building.

Sarah sighed and wondered how she had found the one nutcase in all of Tokyo.

Eyes were still on her.

“Yes. She is one. Usagi knows.”

“We'll have to confront her.”

“It’s for the best.”

“Yes. Let's go.”

Feet scurried away in the dark recesses of the yard.

\----

Sarah walked across the school roof with a groan. Her feet hurt, she had tons of homework, and that Usagi girl wouldn't stop staring at her in her class. As well, she felt someone else staring at her quite a few times but, whenever she'd turn to see, no one would be looking even remotely in her direction. Now, she was just resting on the roof before she walked home.

Sarah leaned against the railing and noticed uneasily how high up she really was.

“Hello, Sarah.” Sarah turned in fear but relaxed when she just saw some girls her own age. However, none of them looked very happy to see her. In fact, they all looked fairly malevolent and the one in the lead smirked with an evil grin. Sarah backed up a step.

“Uh, hello. Who are you?”

“It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is who you are. Tell us, which sailor soldier are you?”

“Huh? What's a sailor soldier?” The one to the leader's immediate right pointed accusingly.

“Don't act stupid! We know you’re a sailor soldier! All the signs are there. First, you're an exchange student,”

“Only for a year!”

“Your name is a jumble of exotic and strange words,”

“My name is Sarah Jones! How is that exotic?”

“You have prophetic dreams,”

"Last night I dreamt I was a surfboarding turtle! That's not prophetic!”

“And most importantly, you have latent powers yet to emerge!”

“I do not!”

“Quiet! You can't fool us! We know what you are. We’ll prove it!” They advanced and the largest one picked Sarah up as if she was a feather. Sarah, to her credit, fought like a wild cat. But when several young women at the peak of their lives are up against you, you kind of have the short end of the stick.

As they walked closer to the railing, Sarah suddenly knew their intent. She screamed with all her might until a voice cut through the air like the singing of angels. They others turned and looked as well.

“Stop! Don't do this to her!” It was Usagi. Her eyes were wild and she looked ragged from all the running she'd had to do to intercept them. The one holding Sarah's legs smiled gently.

“We're sorry, Usagi, but it has to be this way.” With that they dumped Sarah over the edge. Usagi lunged, but the two strongest held her back.

They heard Sarah scream. All five turned and leaned in to watch. Any moment now she'd sprout wings, or simply float to the ground, or maybe her powers would awake--

SPLAT!

Rei sighed in defeat.

“Darn it. I was so sure she was a sailor soldier.”

Makoto nodded in agreement. “I know. The signs were all there.”

Minako laughed. “That's OK. We'll find another sailor soldier soon enough.” Usagi sighed herself, and pulled herself from her friends' grasp.

“I really wish you'd stop killing my new friends.”

Ami put a comforting arm around the blonde's shoulders. “Don't worry Usagi. Americans are so numerous, a new one will come along.” They walked away, the setting sun illuminating them in a soft glow.

As they left, Minako spoke up once more.

“You know, I'm really not sure why they keep sending the exchange students here . . . "


End file.
